Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
