Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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