My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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