Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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