who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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