Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
