help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
