my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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