Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Randomize
