Do you still have your period?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
