i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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