I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
The air taste purple.
Randomize
