she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize