so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
