I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize