If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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