i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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