you would pick up someone in the library
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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