She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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