You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
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