i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
