just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
