Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
