so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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