im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize