I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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