At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
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