Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
