I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
