how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
