we have pet lesbian snakes
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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