dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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