you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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