the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
