You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Even my vagina gasped.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
