how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
