dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
His nipple licking is glorious
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