Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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