I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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