escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I enjoy the company of your penis
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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