I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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