I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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