Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
