WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
