the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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