theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
