Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
