So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
