wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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