I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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