After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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