Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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