I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
