Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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