So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
