I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it glows. i had to have it.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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