32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
