why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
