Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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