You really coming over, don't trick.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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