i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
