Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
