covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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