i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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