He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
