found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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