guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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