i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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