Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
